My Chinese Wedding

Professional wedding photos were taken before the wedding

We got to have different styles.  Sign is saying we will be a couple for 100 years!

My favorite photo.  This was very fun to take this one.

We took very traditional photos and fun photos too.

Yu and I had great fun trying to follow the photographer's orders.

This photo turned out very well. We look great in traditional Chinese wedding clothes.

The day of our Chinese wedding Celebration.  Yu decided he didn't want to wear traditional Chinese clothes.

We started the day very early.  Everyone loved to take photos with us.  I was able to meet more family and friends.  It was nice talking with everyone even though I didn't understand what people were saying.

We went from table to table to say "cheers" to everyone and to thank each person for coming.  Each guest gave us some advice for a long happy marriage and a long life together.

My new Chinese family!  I am so happy and blessed to be considered family.  I miss everyone so much.  I can't wait to come back and see everyone.

 My wedding in China had two parts to it.  There was part A where I went with Yu to the office to register for marriage on the 8th of October.  This took place at the capital, Nanjing.  After we registered for marriage it was time to continue to plan the wedding celebration that was held on the 18th of October.  In China, numbers have importance.  The number 8 is a very lucky number.  Any number that ends in 8 is also lucky. 

While I was helping with planning things (well, mainly just sitting there while my mother-in-law did most of the work), many people said to me that weddings in China are complicated.  From reading and researching about Chinese weddings I completely agree.  I went through a Chinese wedding and I still do not fully understand all that went on.  

The celebration on the 18th, from an American's perspective, would be considered multiple receptions due to the two banquets that are held.  On the 8th it was similar to the American ceremony with the vows given and acknowledge of marriage rights and all that jazz.  

On the 18th we got dressed up and everyone showed up to celebrate and congratulate us on getting married.  Yu said it was China's way of recognizing our marriage.  He said the 8th was legal way of recognizing we are married.  At the celebration we were greeted by fireworks and many family members coming to say hello.  Many small kids were around to say hello and to keep me company when the adults were talking to Yu.  I loved being able to be around the little kids.  They sure liked playing with the beads on my headdress I had on. 

Once we had everyone around and it was time to eat lunch we all got to our seats.  The meals were served on both floors of the house.  The living areas of the house were full of tables for the guests to sit at.  Each table had about 30 different types of dishes.  Each item had their own meanings and importance.  It was really cool to try things I never had before.  At one point in the meal Yu and I had to go to each guest and thank them for coming.  Yu's cousin, whom married earlier in the month, said if you don't eat quickly by the time you return to the table, you won't get much food.  It was nice of her to give me some tips. 

After the meal we had to go to our bedroom again to have tea to give us good luck and have a long marriage.  Then after the tea Yu's aunts helped put special bedding on the bed.  The bedding was in a big bundle and inside the bundle was some wedding treats that look like a cookie and some dried dates.  They were put in the bundle to grants us children early in the marriage.   Later that day we had a dinner that we had the same feast.

The following day we had another gathering to attend.  There was a total of 6 or 7 meals we had to celebrate our marriage.  In these meals there was protocol to follow to show respect to the hosts.  It was confusing to me at first but I was able to follow what others told me to do.

What traditions are you used to at weddings?  Have you experienced different traditions at weddings? It is always interesting to learn new things.  I know that I enjoyed every moment of my time with family in China. I can't wait to return again.

Building a New House?

Yu's home when he visited for New Years

"Your mom is doing what?!" I expressed my shock as to what Yu had just said.  His mom was demolishing their house to rebuild a new one.  Yu explained that it is because I will be coming soon and his mom is preparing for our marriage.  At first I did not understand this but as time went by I was able to understand more.  It is a cultural view I was not used to.

In China, there is  expectations that some people hold for those whom are dating and those who will potentially get married.  These expectations are having a home, a car, a good paying job, and many other aspects.  Some may think that these expectations are materialistic or unreasonable but there is meaning to these things.  There is a sense of financial security within the relationship.  Within the Chinese culture, men are seen as providers.  Throughout history in many countries men were providers and had to prove that they can provide for a woman.  Now-a-days China is more opened to many different views but there is still a belief that men are providers.

So why is my future mother-in-law busy with rebuilding a house?  Within her view, a house means a home.  Her son is getting married and must be a provider for his wife.  She wants him to keep face to show that he can give me a home to live.  It shows that there is thought about the future. She wants to make enough room for me and our future family.  Even though we do plan to live in the USA, Yu said that it is still part of the cultural expectation in the area that he lives. 

During the Spring Festival, also known as Chinese New Year, Yu was able to go to see this new house.  He said that it was very big.  He was able to show me some of the house.  His mom had him show me around with a video.  She was so happy to be able to show me the house that was built.  She also wanted me to see her new kitchen and see the food she was making for the celebration of New Years. 

团圆 (tuán yuán) is a tofu ball soup that is commonly served at many family celebrations

This is sure a cultural difference that is hard to understand.  I know that my family is still confused by the whole thing.  My family at first was worried about what Yu will expect when he comes here.  Yu understands the cultural difference and the expectation is different.  He wants to show that he is a proper gentlemen who is reliable, respectable, and honorable.

What have you seen that is required for men and/or women within your culture?

When is the Wedding?

 
When a person tells people they are engaged, the most common question is if a date was picked for the wedding.  I cannot tell you how many times I have been asked about the date for the wedding.  Making a choice is difficult for couples to decide because of many factors but what makes it more difficult for international couples is government policies and laws.

Yu and I are going to have a wedding in China and in the USA.  We are trying to honor each others' cultures and to involve family and friends in both countries.  With that in mind, we have to plan in a way that we can meet family, cultural, and governmental expectations. 

Where are we going to get married first?

We decided to get married in China first.  We are working hard to save up to have a wedding and for my travel to China.  Yu's family is looking forward to my visit.  I am very excited to meet all of Yu's extended family and all of his friends.  I have only met his family though video conversations but I am so happy to meet them in person.

Making plans for going to China is difficult because I have not traveled much.  I have not been on an airplane before either.  This will be a very interesting and rewarding experience.  At first I was scared to travel to China but after awhile I became braver and used to the idea.

What documentation do you need for getting married in China?

There are many documentation you need to travel to China and to get married.  Each jurisdiction will have different rules and may require different forms or additional information.  The documents that are generally needed can be found here.  You will need:

• Proof of Single Status
• Passport
• Photos of the couple together
• Fees

Some jurisdictions may require birth certificates.  It is always best to gain information of what is needed by asking the center that you go to.  After Yu and I are married there are more paperwork we will have to do for the USA documentation for him to travel to the USA. 

This seems like a lot of work just to marry someone.  Why don't you marry a person in the USA?

There is a lot of effort to marry Yu, but love is full of making many efforts.  When you love someone, you will make every effort to be with them.  Regardless of location documentation, for any marriage, is needed to have a registered marriage.  I love Yu very much.  I do not plan to marry anyone else. 

When are you going to China?

I will be going to China when I go on vacation which is determined by my employer.  I will also have to make sure that it works with Yu's schedule and his family.  It will take time to also save the funding for the journey. 

Welcoming 2015

 Happy New Year!   新年快乐！

It's the new year.  Thinking back on the past year and looking forward to this next year is very common.  Many people will make promises for the new year.  Some may want to lose weight or try something new.  Some may want to not make such promises. 

I am looking forward to many things this year.  This year I plan to go to China to see my fiance and his family.  We plan on getting married this year in China and sometime in the future to have a wedding in the USA. Weddings in China are very different than in the USA.  Learning about Chinese culture has been so interesting and inspiring to me.  As the year continues, I hope to learn more and more about China and Chinese culture.

I plan on working hard to save money for my trip and to get ready for my visit.  I am looking forward to it.  I have never been on an airplane or train.  I have never been outside the country.  I have not traveled much so this will be an exciting and new experience for me.

What do you look forward for 2015? 


Speaking of weddings, it has been very exciting that I am getting married.  It seems like a dream come true.  It is not just me, my cousin is getting married this year too.  I am so happy for her.  It has been very difficult to decide what dress to wear for such event.  There are thousands of dresses for weddings designed each year.  Many styles to choose from that it can be overwhelming.

In China, wedding dresses are traditionally red.  In the USA, it is traditionally white for wedding dresses. So far I have tried on three wedding dresses, all white dresses.  My fiance, Yu, picked out a style of traditional Chinese wedding dress that he thinks would look great on me.  I find that it is such a beautiful dress that I feel honored to wear it, when the times comes.

This dress is the one Yu picked out.