What to pack?

What is necessary to pack when going to China in September and October? It all depends on how long your stay will be.  Everyone says to pack light and sometimes we don't listen.  I should have listen.  I over packed.  When you sit and think, what if I need this or that, your packing turns from light to too much.

Tip 1: Don't say what if.  Only pack needed items to pack.  If you can't lift your bags, repack it and put less in. 

Step 1:  Determine the time of your stay, the season and weather of the places you are staying, and the type of occasions you will be there for.  You should also do research on what clothing items would be appropriate.

When I went to China, I was going to cities close to Shanghai and the weather was warmer than what I am used to in Minnesota that time of year.  I asked Yu what the weather would be like and he said that it will get cold.  While I was there it went from 80 degrees to 60 degrees so having warmer clothes was a must.  Don't pack a lot of shorts and no sleeve shirts because you will hear "are you cold?" or "You should put more on."

Step 2: Look at the required limits of your luggage.  Each airline has different requirements such as size and weight.  Also take note of the number of luggage you can check too.  If you are on a budget make sure to keep your luggage within your fee budget.  Most airlines will let you check one or two bags for free.

Since this was my first trip out of the country and my first air travel trip, I did research on what type of luggage would hold up to travel abuse. I decided to use a hard case luggage with four wheels on them.  I ended up taking all three bags and a backpack.  This was not a good idea because it was very difficult to take those bags through the subway.  Keep that in mind when you are packing.  Transportation is a factor as well.  I also picked a color that was unique.  I wanted to be able to see it from far away so I can quickly get to my bags from the belt.

Travelers' Polo and Racquet 3 piece set.  28", 24", and 20"

I used the 20" as my carry on and I did find that there were troubles using such a bag because of space issues in the overhead compartment.  I noticed that people tend to not really follow the simple rules and that sometimes trying to fit the bag up there would be very difficult because it is a hard case. If I had not packed items that can break easily I would have checked it.  There are always good sides and bad sides to each bag you pick.
 

Tip 2: If you pack a carry-on bag, you might have to check it at the gate due to space issues.  No one has figured out how to solve this issue so that everyone can have a carry-on on the fight.  The boarding group will determine if you have the possibility of taking your bag on. If your group boards first then you have no problem.  If it boards last then you might not be able to take the bag with you. 

Step 3: Make a list of things to bring.  Include any gifts you my have to bring.  Keep in mind you should also have space for anything you want to take back with you.  Keep in mind that scales also differ so make sure it is under the weight limit by about a few pounds so that there is some wiggle room for difference in scales.

I packed too much.  I didn't use half of what I brought.  Even though I was packing for the what-ifs, I suggest packing less still.  You can always wash clothes.  In China, hand-washing clothes is very common.  A washing machine is not a common appliance in homes and apartments. Yu's apartment came with a washing machine but it was not hooked up to use, so hand-washing clothes and bedding was a must.  When I did find a washing machine, it was a little different and smaller than the ones in the USA.  I'm glad my mother-in-law showed me how to operate one because I do not read Chinese at all so it was nice to learn which knob to use.

At hotels if you find a place that has laundry service or the ability to use a machine that is great but you can always do laundry in the hotel by hand too.  I recommend if you are staying with someone, you should use their laundry soaps unless you have a skin condition or allergies to some soaps.  If you are staying at a hotel and you do not feel like buying soap when you get to China, take a little with you.  A little soap goes along way with washing clothes. 

My recommended packing list for a month's stay:

• Pants -- 3 or 4 pairs depending on your choice and occasion. 
• Dress -- 1 or 2 dresses 
• Shirts -- 3 or 4 
• 1 dressy 
• 1 long sleeve for colder nights (yes it can get cold)
• 1-2 short sleeve t-shirts
• Pajamas -- 1 or 2 pairs
• 1 warm weather pajamas
• 1 cold weather pajamas due to the change in temps. 
• Underwear --  4 or 5 (you do laundry often, almost every day ;) ) 
• Bras -- at least 3 (professional opinion because I do work at a bra shop).  You need at least three because you want to rest one bra, wear one bra, and then have one in the wash.  When you pack your bras do them carefully.  Unlined bras are much more easy to pack in your luggage. 
• Shoes -- 2 pairs  (Note: Do not pack white shoes)
• 1 dressy
• 1 casual 
• Socks -- 3 pairs 
• 2 Sweaters -- you will need them.  I have  heard many lectures of wearing the sweater even though it was 70 degrees out.  In Minnesota, that is spring weather and no need for a sweater.  Where I was in China the air is more damp and not as dry as where I am from.  My body was not used to it so I got sick.  
• 1 coat -- a "fall" coat or a sweatshirt thickness.
• Medications -- any prescriptions and over the counter medication including vitamins.  I would suggest a fiber supplement too.  (I forgot to bring fiber with me and I was constipated for the whole time. Celiac Disease makes it more difficult to find a fiber supplement)  Also note that you can buy some medications when you are there too. 
• Any personal care products -- lotion, soaps, tooth care can all be found in China.   What I noticed is that shaving cream and deodorant is not very common.  Yu didn't even know what they were. 
• Entertainment for the flight -- a book or electronic device. 
• Camera -- you won't regret taking this.
• Passport, ID, Medical papers, Papers of where you will stay and where you will be going. 
• Cash, cash, cash.  You hardly find places to use a credit card.  Cash is the main way to pay for things.  My $40 USD was not enough, as I thought taking a card was more safe.  No matter where you go, cash is a must.  

Tip 3: Know how to pack your bags to make it more efficient and organized.  

I went to China for meeting my future family and getting married.  I find that using the list above is a better and realistic list of things to pack.  It gives you variety in clothes.  I wore the same sweater most of the time.  My mother-in-law had me wear one of hers some of the time too.

If you have Celiac Disease, do not bring a lot of food with you.  Some snacks would be fine but don't worry too much.  There are many foods you can eat.  My husband was able to talk with the cooking staff and was able to find things for me to eat.  I could even eat at some fast food places, what a shocker mainly because I am unable to do that in the USA. 

Tip 4:  Take things that can double up.  If you can make a shirt be pajamas and a top to go out of the house in, then do that.  Love the double duty garments. 

Step 4:  Pack your bags in a way you know where things are.  Organizing is key.  Also keep space for things you buy when you are on your trip.  Always put a tag on your bag.  When you are at the airport they will give you a tag with a tracking number but you should also have your own tag too.  The airport I went to had some tags for you to put on your bag too but they were not the best quality.  You don't want to have them fall off.  Weigh your bag too.  Make sure the bag is less than the weight limit.

Tip 5:  You can bring a water bottle that is empty on the flight.  This is true in China as well.  When I was leaving China, they were going to take my bottle away and I told them it was empty so it was okay then.  Liquids are not allowed on the air craft when you get on.  The water bottle I took with me had a filter which was nice when I didn't want to boil water or buy bottled water (this is how water is made more clean).

Step 5: Enjoy your trip.  Don't keep repacking and unpacking and so forth.  You should relax after packing and remember why you are going on your trip. 

Am I Fat?

I love food.  Cake is the best, heehee.

The worst question to be asked.  I work in retail and I constantly have women in the USA ask if they look fat.  In the fitting room women tend to see themselves bigger than they are and see themselves in unhealthy ways.  Garments, in my professional opinion, that fit perfectly do not fit them in their minds.  I have been in the same boat once in my life.

I grew up being the fat kid.  Since I was in elementary school I knew I was fat.  All the kids told me so and would make fun of me for it.  I was tormented when I was younger for being fat.  When I was in sixth grade I was already in women sizes and looked like I took clothes out of a closet of a grandma or a middle aged math teacher.  I couldn't have the style my classmates had.  There was not many options for plus size kids clothes back then.  Through the mocking of my weight and how it relates to my name Jenny, at that age I began to think that I was not worthy of respect or true friendship.

When I was in middle school I was at my heaviest.  I was a short person weighing close to 200 pounds (about 90.7kg).  In eighth grade I became very determined to not have other people's opinions and words get to me.  I had the mind set of "screw them" if they can't accept me for who I am.  At that time I also developed symptoms of Celiac Disease and became very sick.  My disease went unnoticed for years and I stared losing a lot of weight.  My body was damaged and no matter what I ate my body was starving to death because nothing was being absorbed.

Once we figured out what the problem was my weight went up and down when I was in high school.  In high school I was too focused on school work and studying to really pay attention of weight. I wanted to prove people wrong that a kid in special education can go to college and graduate.  I had some friends in high school that became true friends.  I was so happy for them in my life and I still get to talk to them once in a while.

When I got into college I started skipping meals.  I was around people who were focused on weight all the time and weight was an issue because of the weight change in USA citizens and how kids now-a-days were becoming more enlarged than other generations in the past.  When I was in my second year of college I had stopped eating and drinking water.  This lasted for ten days before I was hospitalized.  I had dropped down to 145 pounds (about 65.7kg) and I was not convinced that I had a problem.  I hid behind the fact that I lived with people who ate gluten and made it a big problem of cross-contamination.

I started eating at least one meal a day and brought my weight up to 150 pounds.  I started dating a guy who turned out to be an abusive butt-head.  He thought I needed to lose more weight and told me that he would love me more if that happened.  Are you kidding me?  That is not love.  If my size contributed to love or acceptance then don't you think the more heavy you are the more love you should get, like the saying of "more to love."

I broke-up with that guy and gained more weight.  "Brake-up weight" follows you everywhere.  I am still trying to lose that weight and it was so many years ago.  I met my husband online and we chatted every day and did video.  He would say things about my weight that at first I thought was very hurtful.  He is Chinese and in his culture the talking of weight is not a big deal and it is something very close people talk about.  He showed concern about my overall health that many believe is linked to weight.  In China, weight is linked with physical health, work ethic, and taking care of one's self.  In the USA, weight is linked with physical health, beauty, self worth, and mental health.

In the USA, weight  is not talked about as openly as in China.  A person in USA who is thought of as thin could be considered fat in China.  As my husband told me: a person could be fat and beautiful or fat and ugly like a person could be skinny and beautiful or skinny and ugly.  They do not link weight with beauty as the American culture does.  When I was in China I never really understood why people called me beautiful and thought I was fat at the same time.

I remember meeting my husband's uncle who was a very strict police officer.  He always wanted each family member to be involved in at least one sport.  Haha, does understanding superficial mindsets count as a sport? I do that everyday at work and when I was traveling I ran into some superficial personalities that made it difficult to understand them.  Yu's uncle would test my health and analyze me every time I would see him.  Each day he would give me a stern look and in a more lecturing voice tell me to do the ab roller machine thing at least 30 minutes a day.  I understand he is trying to look after my health but when it was 24 hours or less from your last annalist, I think it would be best to just give it a rest.  A person cannot lose 30 or 40 pound overnight.  That is when I began to not listen to uncle.

My husband loved overhearing people talk about me.  He would say that so-and-so were talking about my large backside and commented on how easy it would be for me to born sons.  Having a son, throughout any people's group's history is a good thing.  The first time I heard that my butt was large and that I will have many sons was when I first got to video with Yu's mother and grandmother.  I never had received such a complement before so it was rather different to hear.

My time in China was short.  When I was in China I felt as though people were so shocked that I worked hard with helping with the housework that it was strange.  After learning that the perception of fatness is the person's work ethic is lazy, I realized there was a connection.  Work ethic is very important in China.  The Chinese culture thrive on working hard.  At young ages kids are studying very hard in school. The school structure is much more stressful and strict than in the USA.  This mindset is a way of training people for the workplace and for real life.

I noticed that the more I shaked the worldview of people the more I started to feel more acceptance and not an odd resistance from my body type.  I also felt more at ease because I didn't have a  prejudice.  I noticed that most of the time I was around people other than my husband I would eat less than what I would normally.  When my husband found out that I was not comfortable eating the normal amount he was surprised.  He felt sorry that I was "starving" most of the time I was there.  He was being overly dramatic.  I was not really starving but still not fully satisfied.



Now that I'm back in the USA I am away from my husband.  It is hard to not be around him.  When I was around him I found a concordance that I didn't have before I went to China.  It was like my husband helped me realize what I grew up knowing or learning about myself was not true.  My self-worth was not resting solely on weight and how I looked. 

I am not perfect and that is okay because I am perfectly me.  I don't have to try so hard to meet expectations because the most important expectation is to be myself.  Accepting me is nice but not something I really need.

Each person has issues they face and each place in the world has their own views of weight and how they address it.  Weight is part of life and has no means to bring you any discomfort.  Being confidant is important but does not happen overnight.  You can have good days and bad days.  It is a bumpy road but having self-worth and knowing how you have self-worth is important.

I used to be depressed about how I was and thought I was worthless but as I grew up I learned my worth and found my confidence.  If you are struggling like the so many women I see at my work, please know you are not alone.



Women, 
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, body image issues, or criticism, please get help and know that sometimes professional help can make it better.  If you can't find a way to get professional help, talk to someone about how you are feeling and how you see what is happening around you.  Find friends that care about you and find a healthy outlet to let out some negative feelings. Please do not be the women that come in and suffer silently and try to struggle on your own.  You are a strong person and you deserve much more than the struggling life.  Life is so much more than how you look. Some of you might think I am crazy to suggest it but it is true.  Life is too short to worry about this topic.  You should enjoy life and not waste it by looking down on yourself or let others look down on you.  So take charge of your life and get the help you need.  I know it can be hard but it is well worth it.  Good luck women.  Know that you are treasured and loved! 

Look back on the happy moments in life. My graduation day, so happy to show that I can graduate college.

Enjoy life while you live. It was fun to see the sites when I was in China.

Be happy with who you are. I am happy to be Jen and I am okay with being silly and different.

Happy Lunar New Year!

Happy Lunar New Year!  

My sister and I at my favorite places to eat in the city.

I am excited to celebrate my first Chinese New Year (Spring Festival).  This year I had to spend it away from my Chinese family  It is tradition to be with the whole family at the celebration but this year I had to be with my family in the USA.   My USA family didn't want me to feel left out and wanted to show Yu that they honor his traditions, so we had dinner together at my favorite place.  There are all kinds of traditions people have for their new year's dinner.  Each country that celebrates this holiday have different traditions and foods they make.  At the place I went with family, the owner, Yin, let me try something her mom made for lunar new year.  I thought it was very good.

People tend to wrap the food in different things, traditionally banana leaves.  Yin's mom used foil.

This is a sticky rice mung bean cake  In the very center is pork

My Chinese family had all kinds of foods.  It took a long time to make everything.  My mother-in-law was very busy.  Food holds meanings and has traditions behind them.  These traditions are similar to my family's traditions of having Christmas cookies around Christmas time.  It is also tradition to clean.  Cleaning the house before the New Year will make room for good luck to be welcomed into the home.

My mother-in-law starting to cook

Cooked beef tongue

Mom and Grandma making rice cakes

It is tradition to have everyone go home for the holiday.   Many people say no matter how far a person lives, they always come home for the New Year.  It is seen as being unlucky if you are not home for the holiday.  Being that I am taking care of my mom and working in the USA, going to China at this time was not something I could do.  So I had to stay in the USA.  There is a tradition that Yu told me about that I did not know of.  Through all my research and readings on The Spring Festival/Lunar New Year, I had no idea what would be done if the whole living family was not all there. 

There is a tradition that at the family meal  a plate of food is put off to the side for the member missing.  My mother-in-law told me that I will get my own plate and that Yu, my husband, would have to eat it for me.  Yu said he ate double that day and was so full.  This tradition is a symbolic meaning of having the whole family together.   This means no one is left out. 

In the USA, we don't have this tradition in some of our holidays.  At Thanksgiving, we don't have a plate for the missing person as a symbol.  Hearing about this tradition made me really happy.  It made me feel like I was not being left out or missing the celebration even though I was over 7,000 miles away.  Yu also made it so that people could video chat with me.  It was nice to see family and meet new family members I have not had the pleasure of meeting in person. 

There are many things people do for New Year, fireworks, eating food, worship time, and being with family.  I think the most important is being with family.  I love spending time with my family both in the USA and in China.  In the USA I was able to get together with my mom's side of the family with some of the family, not everyone.  Below are photos of our family time.  We sure had fun.  It was strange that all the adults were dressed in black and white clothes.

My sister and I having a great time after dinner.

My cousin's little boy.  He was very interested with the place we were at.  He loved telling everyone "Hi"

My mom and dad testing out Red Bean Ice Cream.  It was not their favorite.

My cousin and his little girl.  She was so cute trying to eat Red Bean Ice Cream.

My dad trying to figure out what team to cheer for during the Super Bowl 2016.

My aunt and uncle.  They were so happy to tell me about the New Year animal being the Fire Monkey. They missed Yu and wanted him to know that they will look forward to next year's party.

I am enjoying tea after my dinner.  I had a lot of fun with family and enjoyed being with everyone there.

What do you do for Lunar New Year?  Have you learned new traditions?  Have you ever missed a family gathering? If so, what do people do?