The Life of a Homemade Dreamer: August 2016

What was it like being in China? This is a common question people ask me. There wasn't too many differences from the town I live. I felt just like I was at home, but I didn't understand most people or signs, there was more smoking and drinking than at home, and there was more need to pay attention to culture. There were many similar things in China as in the USA. I didn't really feel like I was thousands of miles away.

I felt like I was at home. I felt welcome. This was all over the place. People would come up to me and say hello. A lot of kids were told to come talk to me to practice their English. This was so cute. They all did great! I'm glad I can help to with your English practice. I remember going to the market and looking at different things with my husband, Yu. There was this boy who was very shy but his parent was insistent he goes to say hi. You did a good job little buddy!

One time, late at night, my husband and I went out for something to eat and of course at this time of night most places are closed. There was a few places opened but my hubby didn't want to go to those places. He decided to get street BBQ food. There was a narrow long grill on the side of the road with tables of foods to choose from and tables to eat at. My husband picked out foods for the man to cook for us and we were told to sit down to wait for it. Not too long after sitting there I heard loud voices. By this time in China I had become accustomed to people just starring at me and people coming up Yu asking about me. These voices were different. It was a mixture of excitement exclamation and strange drunken, no filter loudness. There was a table, on the other side of Yu, where two men were sitting. The table had many bottles of what used to be beer. Bottles of beer are much bigger in China than in the USA, think of the bottle as about two or three bottles of beer or cans of beer in USA. There was about 6 or more bottles of Chinese beer that were empty and of course these two men wanted more. They went to the man who was cooking the food to ask more more and then saw me.

Those who know me know that I don't like to draw attention to myself and try to blend in. The man that was making such a loud fuss was rather loud and drawing more attention to those walking across the street and in nearby shops and restaurants that were still open. The man went to my husband and started to talk to him. First I thought he was an old friend but then it changed once my hubby said the man wanted to know who I was and where I was from. Of course once my hubby said I was his wife, the shock became voiced. For some reason it was unbelievable for a Chinese man to have a wife from another country. I became accustomed to the shock in people's face when they heard Yu was my boyfriend, fiancee, and now husband. The sheer volume of the shocked man's voice was a little ear piercing.

The man then asked where I was from and how to say he loves Americans. The whole time he kept saying "I love American" and "I want to go to American" saying he loves USA and wants to go. He then offered to pay for our meal. Now in China, my husband pays for my meal. There is a huge cultural significant of who pays the bill for food. Before going to China I read about this cultural view point. You can see it in a popular TV show in the USA called "Fresh Off the Boat" which explains that there is much to be said about who pays the bill. The person who paid is the host, the provider, the person who paid for you. Being the person whom doesn't pay can sometimes mean you owe the person whom paid, depending on the context. When I was in China, my hubby paid for everything. It is culturally expected for him to provide for his wife. This is shown by paying for things, having some kind of property, and a car of some kind. This is something I don't actually agree with but in the Chinese culture it is something that matters to them.

So the man offers to pay for the food and my husband says no. I even told him no that my husband would pay for our food, since he then addressed me. I told him that he wasn't thinking straight that he might be drunk and it wasn't right to take money from people who were drunk. The man then said he wasn't drunk and was just wanting to pay the money. To this day I still am convinced he was what we call tipsy which is still a level of drunk. The man was still rather eager to pay. He even went up to the "boss," the owner of the food stall and said he will pay no matter what. After a very long time of going back and forth of who will pay, Yu gave in and let the man pay. The man paid and expressed through slurred speech that he will even pay for when my parents get to China. As we were leaving the man expressed again that he America and people from there.

As we walked down the road Yu told me that I just witnessed Chinese drama. I also felt as though I also witnessed a man that was the type of person I read about that just wants to be friends with someone from another country to brag about it or show off to friends. When I was in China I felt as though I was a trophy at times for people to show off they met a foreigner. I felt as though I was the foreigner and not just Jen. Don't get me wrong, I love to help others learn about other cultures and help them with their English but I also felt as though I was just a teacher of English or just a person to take a photo or selfie with.

Even though I felt as though this was happening I still felt welcomed in China. I did make some good friends and enjoyed my time there. I will forever remember the little kids trying to practice their English. Those kids were so cute and I just loved them. I will also remember the strange drunk man who I ended up seeing again and all he could say was "I love American" and I just answered, "Yes, good job with your English!" for encouragement.