Talk Chinese Now!

Younger uncle and my mother-in-law standing proud with us at our wedding.

There were times I had no idea what was being said.  Yu was able to let me know what was being said.

"You have been here long enough, you must talk Chinese now!" my husband's younger uncle told me (in Chinese) on his way out to greet other guests that attended the wedding.  I nodded my head.  At this point in time I only knew how to say polite words such as: good morning, good night, hello, how are you, thank you, and I love you.  I had no idea what to say to people.  It takes a long time for me to learn words and statements in other languages.  Ask my Spanish teacher, I really needed all the help I could get to recall all the vocabulary.  I have a learning disability so my brain processes information differently and recalls things in a different way.  It is slow for me to learn so my husband wasn't too insistent for me to learn Chinese.

He knew that it was a challenge for me to get the tones right and the words and form the sounds correctly.  We would spend hours on our walks, dates, and time spent at home, practicing Chinese for me to use when we are hosting the wedding.  I learned all the family names that I could and tried my best.  I forgot things and I know I said the wrong words but I think everyone was happy to know I was trying.  If you are learning a new language the majority of people will be pleased you are trying to embrace the language and culture.

My husband was a great help at the wedding, he would tell me what to say in Chinese and I would repeat to the best of my ability.  I was so nervous I would say the wrong thing or do something impolite.  This was on of my biggest anxiety moments I had when I was in China.  Meeting people I don't know and immersing myself in a culture that I knew little about and had no idea what people are saying does give me high levels of anxiety. You can do as much research as you can in preparation for your trip or whatever the setting you are in but that doesn't mean you know it.  You only know it through research knowledge that is stored in your brain but you have yet to experience it.

For me, I did a lot of reading of blogs of AMWF relationships and women living in China with their Chinese husbands, just to learn about culture. I found myself worried about knowing enough when I was in China. I know now that it wasn't necessary to be too worried.  I was able to be more relaxed after a few minutes with my family in China and then their family and friends that came to celebrate with us.

I was able to talk with friends and family whom spoke a little English and then also with those whom had translators to help with communication.  Even though uncle told me to speak Chinese and not English that day, I still spoke English and still made people proud with my little Chinese I did spoke that day.  I was glad to make my Chinese family proud.

I will give advice for those who are learning Chinese.  Chinese can be difficult to master so don't give up.  Just practice.  I try to practice new words for 10 minutes before I go to work, around lunch time or dinner time, and then before going to bed.  I try to master words to remember the meaning, the character(s), the sound, and the way to say it.  I have found some apps that help with this but practicing with my husband is the best so I can have him tell me if I am saying it correctly.  I have found that some apps are not fully accurate with recording recognition.  Sometimes I have found that the words are not said correctly but the apps I have used says that it is.

I have may textbooks and recorded lessons for learning Chinese too.  These can help but not always the best for knowing if you are saying the words correctly. The best way to learn Chinese is being around those who speak Chinese.  This helps to know if you are speaking correctly.  Find friends whom speak Chinese and ask if they can help you too.  I have friends who do language exchange so we teach each other our languages.

Remember that if you have been immersed in a setting of Chinese speaking you will need time too.  I did not become fluent in Chinese in the small time I was living in China.  Sometimes expectations is not realistic so keep your goals real.  Setting goals should be measurable, able to meet that goal, and continue to make future goals.

Work in your time.  Don't follow other people's time of when to be fluent, just be you.  Each person has different learning abilities and time-frames to learn.  Find what works for you.  What works for me may not work for you.  I think you need to think about what makes learning easy for you and enjoyable.  Yes, learning can be enjoyable no matter what my brother-in-law or cousins may think.

For me, I like to learn through different things like music and TV shows.  My husband made his English better by watching TV shows and movies in English and learning English songs. This has helped me too. It is a very fun way to learn.  Watching some Chinese TV shows has been very fun.  You can learn about the culture through TV shows and even the form of storytelling that people use for those TV shows.  I love learning story telling techniques from different people groups.  It has always fascinated me.

What do you do to learn something new?  Have you learned a new language?  What did you do to learn?  What worked the best and what didn't work?  Do you have advice for language learning?

Follow Your Dreams

Anyone who has watched a Disney film can tell you that the characters in these films are centered around following your dreams and your heart.  Making dreams come true is an important aspect of Disney's philosophy.

When I was younger I always wanted to be an actor, an author, or own my own shop or restaurant. As I grew up I started to realize that I want to make my dream come true.  I want to start my shop.  The shop I want to start is a homemade gifts shop.

Sometimes in life it takes time to figure out what you are good at, what you like to do, and what you want to do with your life. Dreams can change too.

I have decided to start my own business. When I was in China, my mother-in-law told me to see about working with local businesses in China to start a shop in the USA to sell bedding.  She even told me she would teach me to make bedding sometime.  I admired her passion to help out my husband and I.

The shop I decided to start is not a bedding shop but a homemade gifts shop.  In China homemade things are lower in price than other items that are made with big factory machines.  This fact shocked me because in the USA, we price handmade objects higher than factory made things.  When I was in Wuxi we went to a wholesale market.  There were all kinds of different products there.  There was an area with baby clothes that were handmade.  I was shocked to find out that it was less than $1 USD (USA Dollar).

Knowing that my handmade gifts business won't do so well in China, I deiced to start the shop in the USA.  My shop will sell things made by my family, friends, and me. I hope I will get to sell some of my mother-in-law's crafts.  She does very well with making things.  I know she would get more for her crafts in another country that puts a higher price tag on handmade items.   She seems excited about it.

Following your dreams can take time and sometimes people don't believe in you.  I am sure there are many people out there that have heard the same thing I have about how you will never achieve your dream.  Be positive to yourself.  If you can dream it and believe in yourself, you can do anything.  It won't happen overnight, but it will happen sometime.  There are many famous people all over the world that didn't get to their dream until later on in life.  Just don't give up.

A gift basket I made for a cousin of mine.  Some of the items in the basket I will continue to make to sell.

Celiac and Traveling

In honor of Celiac Awareness Month (May 2016) in the USA, I wanted to talk about traveling with this disease.  For those whom do not know what is Celiac Disease, let me explain a little about it.  This is an autoimmune disorder that reacts to a protein called gluten that is found in many grains which causes damage to the lining of the small intestine. This disease can create different symptoms for each person so it can be missed in a medical examination.  If this disease goes untreated it can create other medical conditions.  The only treatment for this disease is a total gluten free diet.  (It's just not a fad like many in the USA are started to believe, it is away people can stay alive and well.)

I have Celiac.   I have known I have this disease for over twenty years.  When you have Celiac Disease, traveling can seem stressful and scary at times.    I have seen the options for those who have this disease change from nothing to a wide verity of things.  Traveling has become more easy over recent years.

When I travel around the USA, I always have to bring food along with me.  This does make it easy to know your food is safe and you can enjoy your travels.  No one wants to be sick when they travel.  Everyone says to research where you are going and call ahead to see what is there.  It is only possible if you know the area and if the place has available contact information.  There might be times where travel is unknown and there might be roadblocks along the way to get to know things.

My travels to China made me a little scared to travel.  There was a language barrier, many have not heard of Celiac Disease, and there was unknown plans.  When this happens, it is best to have someone that understands.  I was happy to have my husband there with me.  He researched about this disease to learn more about my health.   If you have this disease you should also know about your condition.  Answer questions is also important.

My husband was able to talk to the people preparing our food and able to look into what we buy at the market.  We bought a lot of foods that were made fresh and naturally gluten free.  There are many foods you can eat if you are on a gluten free diet.  As long as you talk with people or have someone do that on your behalf, you should not find it difficult to eat out or find something in the local market.

In fact, I was able to eat out more and go to many places when I was in China than when I was back home in the USA.  When I was in China, I only got sick about two times.  Those times were only because of slip ups of when I was eating in a big group and my husband forgot to inform me of what items were.  Yes, I needed someone to help identify the foods for me because there were many dishes I was not familiar with or have even seen before.

If you are traveling, just remember to have a conversation with your host or your traveling mates.  If you are traveling alone, remember to read the labels (learn the words of your "allergy" so you can stay away from them in processed foods), and also remember you can go to the market to get foods that are not packaged.  Those are almost the most safe way to eat when you travel.  Also try to relax and not be stressed out when you are traveling.  Traveling is all about having fun.

You might just be surprised as to what you can do once you step away from the fear of getting sick when you travel.  Your world will open up more and become bigger.  I sure was shocked as to my ability to travel while still taking care of my Celiac Disease.  I still had some issues and still needed extra help.

If you have Celiac Disease, you sure can travel.  I was able to eat out in Shanghai just fine. 

Following Dreams

Ever since I was little I was told I could be anything I wanted to be.  Most kids wanted to be doctors, actors, or someone very famous like the President of the United States.  When I was a kid, I wanted to be a bird so I can travel to new lands.  Since I couldn't be a bird I decided to become a writer.  Lately I have come back to my writing projects and have enjoyed my writing again.

"A dream is a wish your heart makes."
 --Disney's Cinderella

Sometimes it takes time to follow your dreams.  My dream of being an author will take a lot of time and courage.  I have to not forget my wish.  I would love to share my stories with others.  This is something that I find fulfilling in life.  Sharing stories is like sharing part of my heart or my voice.  It makes it powerful to be able to express myself.  I believe everyone has a story to tell and everyone can express that.  It could be different for each person.  Some people express themselves through dance, music, art, sports, and much more.  It just takes time to find the right outlet to use.


Recently one of my friends is following his dream of songwriting and singing.  I am so proud of him.  He is entering a contest for singer/songwriters.  You should check out his video here.  He has always been very musical and I am so happy he decided to continue his dream. Good luck Ku!

It takes a lot of courage to open yourself up to your dreams.  Take courage to follow your dreams, no matter what it is or where it is.  It may seem far off but if you keep at it, you can reach your goal.  Just keep telling yourself you can do it.  

For me:

Shanghai

I have finished my first book, only the draft, and I started the second one. It is slow but I keep telling myself that one day I will make it.  As for my dream from when I was a little girl, I will get to visit China soon.  I am excited for my upcoming trip.  I get to see a few different cities in China so it will be very exciting. I may not have turned into a bird, but I can travel using an aircraft.

What are your dreams? Have you followed them lately?